Today I was watching a movie about a family that lost their mom, wife in their family. The family was struggling with the sudden death of someone as important as a mom. Watching the family struggling to get along, dealing with grief, and the day to day stuff. Greif is dealt with differently from person to person. Fear and grief makes us say and do things we may not normally do.
This single movie made me stop and think about what is going on in the world today. The COVID-19 virus has made so many changes in our lives. So many changes that we have not had time to adjust to them fully. The changes in how we live and work are hard enough. We also have to deal with the turmoil of how unstable our government appears to be. It became clear to me how easy it is to create FEAR in people. The fear of getting sick, the fear of lack of supplies, the fear of not having a job, the fear of not being able to take care of your family, the fear of our government not doing what you think they should be doing, Believe me, I get it. Fear is the mind killer. We should try to learn that the “only thing to fear, is fear itself”. (The Art of War by Sun Tzu) What amazes me is watching people run to the stores to stock up on supplies and hoarding out of fear. Watching people lash out at each other out of fear and frustration is unsettling. It does not matter if you believe in the seriousness of the COVID-19 virus or not. Doing simple things to try to help is better than panicking and over buying supplies. By simple I mean wear a mask, and follow social distancing those are the easiest things to start. Instead of reacting in fear to the COVID-19 virus when you go shopping and hoarding items such as toilet paper, be proactive and buy what you need and a little extra each time you shop.
How do you deal with the loss of family and friends who have died from COVID-19? When you cannot plan or go to their funeral. You need closure and to say good-bye. I would suggest what might help to deal with this is to create a spot in your home to honor the family member who has passed. I chose to put a favorite picture of the family member on a shelf and added flowers and candles. In this way, I can also have a place to go to remember the person who has passed. It might help give you some closure for the time being.
What I have been observing lately is that it appears a lot of people have difficulty expressing deep emotions with each other. We get so busy in our day to day life that we do not take time to talk to each other. We make assumptions on what others think and feel. Now it would be fantastic at this time to talk to each other about how you feel, how you might be afraid or frustrated, most of all tell each other how much you love each other. If you find it difficult to talk, I suggest that you write it down and mail the letter to each other. What I mean is have an in-house mailbox and leave messages for each other in the mailbox.
Another suggestion for you that might help you is by creating a gratitude jar. Take time to decorate the jar and make it fun.
Every day write something on paper that you are grateful for and put it in the jar. Weekly, as a family sit down and read out loud what everyone is grateful for no matter how big or how little.
Another idea would be to volunteer wherever and however you can. Volunteering does help you feel good. Try collecting food for those in need, deliver food for at-risk people, walk their dogs, etc. offer to do whatever you can to help your neighbors.
Sending love, friendship to you all,
Be safe, be healthy